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Kept You Waiting

by P-sychiatrist

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1.
Entrance 05:50
Here comes Miss America, I know when it’s a dream Strawberry eyes, flowers blossom where her golden hair gleams She is my light, my life. I've been dreaming away love, harrowing cries of the dead, Who even knows… Edge of the building is where I am standing My heels is planted, toes hanging off the edge Pray to God I don't relent Clouds pushing me down with force Girls taking me down these forked paths I know that I can't describe it I know that I don't really wanna na na na Talk about the shit that I be really on But pill poppin, xanny talkin, suicidal thoughts Knees crumble with the blues and the greens Thinkin bout meetin up with Billy Jean Whatchu mean? Shit Man we need em velour couches Women in jumpsuits in the penthouses Please don't tell me what to do Please don't tell me what is cool I be killin it with B English majors but our songs are jewels (JEWELS JEWELS) Man they jewels, man they jewels Somethin that you fuckers can't own, or sell, or pawn off Bitch you better walk off or hit the cat walk cause we sus for life and that's the plan boy Why can’t I do this? Why can’t I summon the courage without their help? Why can’t I do this? Why can’t I love myself?
2.
Worry Away 04:10
There are several things I'll always worry about Did I lock the door? Or take the garbage out? And some are awful things that kept me in the dark, but I don't wanna talk about them right now. He was never one to stay down. (never one to stay down) So get up, get up, don't drown (Get up, get up, come on!) Why are you giving yourself away? Why are you giving yourself away? Why are you giving yourself away? Don't give up on yourself. There are several things I cannot say aloud When corporate media is trying to tune us out. And on my darkest night I couldn't even cry. I'm out of my mind, can't really talk about it right now. Never one to stay down (never one to stay down) So get up, get up, don't drown (Get up, get up, come on!) Why are you giving yourself away? You should try giving yourself a break. Why are you giving yourself away? Don't give up on yourself. And when abuelo died, his smile shone through the tubes. He left a gift for me, the gift of love for you. He taught me not to hide in darkness, find the light. And I just wanna thank him one more time. Now we'll never ever stay down (never ever stay down) Yeah we'll get up, get up, won't drown (Get up, get up, woo!) Please never give yourself away. Please never give yourself away. No need to give yourself away. Don't give up on yourself.
3.
She thinks she’s so innocent, breaking all their hearts like that She claims she loves her parents. She’ll wait until she’s married [that little lying girl]. Never knowing of remorse, chase her down her stubborn course. She says she’s independent, like she is any different (from the rest). I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t wanna see it, I’m tired of your dancing. It’s such a waste of time, such a waste of time. She will always play the part of the one who has it hard. She hides behind appearance, and finds her friends on clearance. I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t wanna see it, I’m tired of your dancing. It’s such a waste of time, such a waste of time. [She’ll always be innocent, cherishing her ignorance. Why cry? You'll still be lonely. Girl you were my only (one).] Don’t you shed a single tear, I’ll still haunt you through the years. And lest our bodies sever, twin spirits meet in ether. What’s left to believe in? Holiest of heathen Swim forever in semen. A husband and a wife invented me one night in ‘93. And I will try to fight the feeling. And I will try to form a friend. Because I must try to fight the feeling. And I will try to try again.
4.
You could write A song of love just to see if it comes true Or you could writhe In pain from the things that were taken from you Both, I’ve tried I was twenty years old, and I didn’t know what to say And I still don’t Here I thought things were supposed to be getting easier As time flows on And years roll by I wander still I wonder why Oh I’m not gonna let your memory die But I just can't stand thinking bout you all the time So I’m taking care of everyone except for myself I miss you so much I miss you so much Si quieres, yo te puedo ayudar Y que triste que todos se tienen que ir Y siento solo por la primera vez Te extraño tanto Te extraño tanto You could write A song of love just to see if it comes true For I did once And suddenly found myself tangled in you And what we had Well it only comes once and I took it for granted These precious ties Are all that we own on this tiny planet And life’s unfair It chooses you The more you have the more you’ll lose I’m not gonna let your memory die But I just can't stand thinking bout you all the time So I’m taking care of everything except for my health I miss you so much I miss you so much Si quieres, yo te puedo ayudar Y que triste que todos se tienen que ir Y siento solo por la primera vez Te extraño tanto Te extraño tanto!
5.
Ooooooohh We got coffee at like 4 a.m. No, we weren't waking up, but thinking, “let's sleep in”. I miss that. Ooooooohh Nostalgia is my enemy RISC chips slice my bleeding heart My cousin's copy of Mario Kart [Dissecting cartridges of Mario Kart] Invincible under the veil of youth, the pixels mask my failures - Worse. Extinguish flames before warmth is felt. [The memories are pixel counts, In faded colors we lived somehow. We only think it's better cause we're tired now.] Ooooooooohh Pork roll, egg, and cheese at 4 A.M. We never questioned how our brains were functioning. I miss that. Oooooooooohh While you wait for me I worry: is it just luck? While you wait for me I worry: is it just luck? While you wait for me I worry: is it just luck? But when I see your smile I know it's love. And there was nothing wrong, There was nothing wrong. There was nothing for us to worry about. There was nothing wrong. (There was nothing wrong.) There was nothing wrong. (There was nothing wrong...) There was nothing for us to worry about. (...for us to worry about.) There is nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong. There is nothing for us to worry about.
6.
Everything's wrong, everything's right, Wishing you were here. I know it's hard growing older, I still wish you were here. Cause I know your secrets, And ask me your questions. Just please don't leave me in the dark. I don't love you, and I don't want to; I just wish you were here. Cause every day we just grow colder, I'm still your shoulder here. I've told you everything that I know, So could you please tell me who I am? Mis abuelos, mis amigos; how I need you near. Guide me through this tumultuous life; be my scribe and seer. Things fall apart when your life’s some fool’s opera. I think that I thought I knew then.
7.
All you do is feel so suicidal While she's out with the lights out With the lights out Yeah out with the lights All of the lights All the time All the time All the time All the time All your time. Don't remember things that I told you Don't say anything that you won't do Don't let anybody else in your way Pinch your nose and flow into mashugana Quit pretending to be such a do-gooder Just accept the changes, it's who you are Work hard so at least you can have a say Stop expecting presents on your birthday Don't waste your breath wishing yourself away. Your way. Yahweh. Your way. Yahweh. Your way.

about

My debut album is finally here.
Sorry to have kept you waiting.
~ B ~

Download (it's free!) for Bandcamp-exclusive hidden track and art booklet!

All songs written and performed by B. Steinagle*

All songs recorded, mixed, and mastered by B. Steinagle at Club Records in Freehold, N.J.**

OK dis starting to feel like the opening credits of "The Room"...

Special thanks to:
SRG: T meh for being my guru of culture, Skeed for being the GOAT, Phul for coming thru like a boss on bass, Adeki for being my rock in a stormy sea, Jimmy Jay for being the inspiration for "Kept Yu Waiting", the only decent love song I ever wrote.
Fern for some beautiful guitar-work.
Kelsey for being my one-woman choir.
Chuck for helping me with my muy malo Español.
Elan for his buttery smooth radio voice.
Wust for his Wust charm.
Henry Akerman for leaving me on Valentine's Day to travel the world, Jon Diaz for not giving a fuck, and Stan McNeil for always encouraging me.
My squad that would put T-Swift's to shame: Morgan, Chuck (again), Mike, Nick, Collin, Orcün, and a ghost named Dhävve.
Shouts out to my parents, they're some real ones. Put some respek on their names (Ken and Maria, a.k.a. Papa Stein and Mama Stein).
Thank God!

*"Entrance" was co-written with Tennessee Nuñez, "Tired Of Yr Dancing" was co-written with Phil J. Marflak, "Te Extraño Tanto" was co-written with Chelsea Andino and Matt Fernicola
**Parts of "Tired Of Yr Dancing" were recorded by Phil J. Marflak at Phul Records.

credits

released March 19, 2017

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P-sychiatrist St. Louis, Missouri

Music from the mind of B Meh.

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